solitude and peace

Saturday, July 27, 2013

I know I've been neglecting this little space more often than not lately, I just don't seem to have the words or the inspiration for them.  Truth be told, this heart behind the words is a little broken or shall I say feeling "closed off" lately.  These phases in life, though are rough and confusing when going through them, are beautiful in their own way.  For I know we learn our greatest and most powerful lessons from them,  molding and shaping us into stronger, more insightful, and compassionate people.  I will always try to find the beauty in any circumstance, this I am told is a great trait to have.

Seeking out solitude and peace has been a healthy cure for this ache of mine.  I have ventured out of my comfort zone, doing things I normally don't do, and enjoying them.

Driving down to the outer banks all by myself may not seem wondrous to some, but to me it was adventurous and independent. I stopped at roadside markets, shopped at the outlet mall, took the toll road and paid, I savored the salty air and touristy traffic, smiling to myself the entire way down highway 12.  I paid a visit to my favorite lighthouse and although I am unsure of the reason, I just know she is my favorite.
Running extra long and extra hard lately, it is truly my therapy.  I don't know why, but this ache in my soul has been good for my legs.  Either running towards or away from something, that I don't know, but I have been able to push myself farther than ever before and that alone is something I happy for.

More evening walks with Lucy, more yoga, more tea.  And even catching a sunrise or two.
Leaving to-do lists and everything else for another time and finding a spot at the beach with my green chair has happened on a few occasions.  On one afternoon I was surprised with an amazing show.  In my 25 years of beach living I have never seen that many dolphins playing so happily, freely, and so close to the shore.  It was breathtaking and perfect.

Morning mugs of coffee and the sweet girl I nanny for are constant mood changers.  Mashed potatoes for breakfast? sure.  Water park in the morning and a dance party in the afternoon?  Absolutely.  I'm sure she has no idea, but for me, being around her is a dose of pure goodness.  The power of a nine year old's soul is simply remarkable.

And never underestimate the power of buying yourself flowers.  It helps, always.  

Oh and Bob Marley, he helps too.

Until next time.

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